


I come running to you like a moth into a flame

by nancy01



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No One Direction, Bottom Harry, Confident Louis, Cute Harry, Famous Louis Tomlinson, Football | Soccer Captain Louis Tomlinson, Football | Soccer Player Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles Has Social Anxiety, Harry Styles Has a Crush on Louis Tomlinson, Insecure Harry, Loud Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson is Protective of Harry Styles, M/M, Model Harry, Niall Horan Ships Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Older Louis, Past Abuse, Protective Louis Tomlinson, Protective Zayn Malik, Quiet Harry, References to Depression, Shy Harry, Younger Harry, Zayn Malik & Harry Styles Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23266174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nancy01/pseuds/nancy01
Summary: Louis lifted a hand to Harry's cheek and guided his eyes back to his. "Hey, you're more than just what you wear, Harry. Trust me, I don't remember any old sods name, promise." He joked, making Harry blush beneath his hand."You're so cute." Louis whispered, his eyes falling to Harry's lips as he started to lean in slightly.Fuck. Harry couldn't do this.Harry could feel his heart rate start to pound painfully fast, his hands beginning to shake and go clammy, his breathing go out of control. He abruptly stood up and stumbled back, away from Louis."I have to go, I'm so sorry." He stumbled out, decidedly not looking at Louis' face of confusion and hurt as he ran back into the house.ORModel! Harry and Footie! Louis auHarry is very shy and closed off and ends up falling for a a very loud and confident Louis Tomlinson.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 53
Kudos: 230





	1. Harry

Harry's heart pounds in time to the rhythm of his feet as he hums along to his song on his morning run. In all honesty Harry really hates running, but his manager has him on a tight schedule with his exercise regime and diet being controlled, and being a Gucci model he supposes this is just part of his life now.

Harry's real passion lies in the music industry if he's being completely honest, after everything he'd been through in the last few years he felt that it was the only thing where he truly felt himself. Harry finally reaches his apartment and he crouches down, trying to catch his breath back.

For a very long time Harry had spent his life lost, confused and _so_ unhappy. It was his roommate Zayn that had managed to get him the job modelling, and to get his life back on track. Zayn was more than a roommate though, Zayn was the only person that was there for Harry, and the only person Harry felt completely comfortable around. Other than Nick, Zayn was Harry's only friend, and yet Harry would never, could never, trade that for anything else in the world.

Harry pulls his t-shirt up to wipe the sweat off from his face and walks back into the apartment, trying to stay quiet incase Zayn is still sleeping. Harry finds Zayn curled up on the sofa with a sketchpad in his hand, glasses sliding down his nose, and his usually perfect quiff soft and fluffy, falling into his eyes. Harry smiles a little at the sight, loving to see Zayn relaxed and drawing, knowing that his true passion was art. Luckily Zayn could portray some of that in his modelling what with the clothes he wore and his photoshoots.

Zayn looks up at the sound of the door shutting slightly and smiles when he see's Harry. It had taken a lot after everything to get Harry to do simple things like actually get out of bed everyday so to see him doing things himself, even as simple as going for a jog at 6 in the morning, makes Zayn feel very proud.

"Hey Haz" Zayn says softly.

"Hi" Harry mumbles back, sliding his shoes off and putting them into the porch.

"C'mere, I wanna cuddle" Zayn calls, setting his sketchpad to the side and making grabby hands at Harry.

" 'm all sweaty..." Harry protests but still lets Zayn drag him into his lap.

"Don't care, I want my morning cuddles." Zayn teases, cuddling the younger boy in his lap, Harry curling up into Zayn.

Harry's sister had been friends with Zayn in school as they had been in the same year, and thats how Harry and Zayn had met, Zayn instantly feeling very protective of the younger, shy sweet boy. Zayn was now 22 and Harry 19, and over time they'd only gotten closer.

"How're you feeling babes?" Zayn asks carefully, not wanting to disturb the peaceful atmosphere they had created.

"Um, I guess better? I don't, don't know. Sometimes I feel, feel like I'm running on a treadmill. Like, it doesn't matter how much work I put in, I'm never going to get better, but the second I stop for, even if it's only for a second, I'll go spiralling out of control. Simon still won't let me see a therapist privately." Harry whispers the last part. 

Simon is his manager, and Zayn fucking hates him. Zayn had managed to get Harry a job modelling but with a different company to his, and to put it simply Harry wasn't being treated fairly with his management team. But he did manage to get a contract with Gucci so it's hard to complain.

"Simon's a dick, and as soon as your contract with him is over we're dropping him okay? Gucci will still want you Haz, they don't give a shit about Simon and his fucking company, I promise. And I swear you are getting better Harry, the progress you've made in the past few months is incredible. It will start to get better at some point, and I'm always here if you wanna talk." Zayn promises, stroking a hand through Harry's hair.

"Thanks, Z. I'm here for you too, I know a lot of the time we end up talking about me and, and everything. But, I am here for you too." Harry says honestly.

"Thanks babe. I love you."

"Love you too." Harry mumbles, his eyes starting to shut and his breath evening out.

"Oh hell no, you're not falling asleep on me you great lump. Get off!" Zayn complains in a teasing manner, tickling Harry to wake him up.

"Heyyy. I was comfy. 'nd I'm not a great lump, Malik. I'm a Gucci model." Harry teases back. Zayn looks at him fondly, knowing how much progress Harry is making if he's able to joke around and not be offended by simple things.

"Sure, don't let the fame go to your head or anything, Styles." he teases again, ruffling his hair. "Now go shower, you really are sweaty." He shouts as Harry walks up the stairs, laughing when he hears a faint "leave me alone!"

10 minutes later Harry padded back into the living room in some cotton shorts and a hoodie, his hood pulled up, and his hair dryed and soft.

" 'm going for a meeting with Syco in town and then I have a shoot in the afternoon for the Gucci spring collection. D'you need anything whilst I'm gone?"

"Maybe something for dinner, we're out of food again. What's your meeting about?" Zayn replies.

Harry's eyes shoot up from where he was digging around for his trainers and meet Zayns.

"Oh! Um, well, I er, the meeting, it is about, the m-meeting's about, um, it's ab-about-"

"Harry quit the shit talk, just tell me." Zayn interrupted, Harry's eyes falling back to finding his shoes.

"He just wants to discuss my "public image", it's fine." Harry says.

"What does that mean?" Zayn asks, pulling Harry's shoes out and handing them to him, earning a small thanks.

"It's, um, I think it's going to, um, be about, you know, cause I'm gay, and uh, he doesn't want people to, like, find out. It's fine though, I swear. He's got a point."Harry mumbles, trying to reason Simon's shitty managing.

"Harry it's not a bad thing being gay, you shouldn't have to hide it if you don't want to." Zayn sighs, remembering how scared Harry was when he came out to him.

"Maybe I do want to..." Harry mumbles.

"What?"

"I don't know if, if I am, if I'm ready for like, the whole world to know? I already get spoken about enough in the media..." Harry trails off.

"I know babes, just don't let Simon make you do things you don't want to, okay?"

"I'll try, I left half of my smoothie in the fridge if you haven't eaten breakfast yet, it's the green one with ginger we make." Harry offers, tying his laces and grabbing his jacket.

"Thanks Haz, I'll see you later. Don't forget dinner." Zayn calls as Harry leaves the house.

"Bye." Harry mumbles back, preparing himself for this meeting he didn't want to go to.


	2. Louis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy!!!
> 
> make sure to comment :)

"Oi, Adams, you keep that attitude up and you're off the team, go and cool off!" Louis shouted as he pulled apart two members of his team, anger running through him.

"But-"

"I don't give a shit, you aggravated him so don't be suprised if he gets angry back. We are a team and we are supposed to work together. I mean it, this is your last warning, both of you!" Louis spitted, no room for arguing over him. "Now, Adams go cool off like I told you too and come back with a better attitude, Hemming's you're coming with me."

Louis watched 'Adams' walk back into the changing rooms before turning to Luke with a serious expression.

"Luke, I -"

"It's not like I ask for him to give me shit Louis, and I'm not going to let him him push me around like I'm a fucking pushover."

"I never said you were a pushover, if you'd just listen to me for one sec-"

"I know what you're going to say. Ignore him and he'll go away. Don't risk my place on the team. Report him. I've heard it all before, he won't leave me alone no matter what I do." Luke mumbles, his voice loosing the fieriness it had before.

"Luke. You can't just give up everything you've achieved up until now because of some arsehole who's just mad at you cause you're fitter than him. I know you're not in the wrong here, but unfortunately I can't accept this behaviour from either of you. Adam's is a dick and we both know it, hence why I won't call him by his first name, but it doesn't mean I can ignore it if you keep having a punch up every two seconds." Louis reasons.

"I know but-"

"I will try my hardest to get him off from the team, I promise. You just need to focus on your fitness and staying on the team, okay?"

"Okay."

"You okay?" Louis asks sincerely, his hard captain exterior falling off.

"I guess. I don't know man, he's just such an arse, you know?"

"I know. Trust me, sometimes I feel punching him for you." Louis jokes as they walk back onto the pitch and carry on training with everyone else.

A few hours later and Louis finds himself in Niall and Liam's apartment, a plate of chicken and veg on his lap and a low calorie alcohol free beer on his hand.

"Honestly, I don't how they expect us to eat and drink like this, I mean, if my granddad knew I was drinking alcohol free beer he'd turn in his grave!" Niall complained, looking in disgust at his drink.

"I know, the second the season's over I'm pigging out with a massive burger, chips and as much alcohol as my system can take!" Liam adds, hitting Niall with a pillow when he laughs saying "so one drink then."

Louis just rolls his eyes and tucks into his dinner, trying to tune his two best friends out. 

In all honesty, yes Louis also hated the food he was eating and yes he would also like to pig out on a greasy burger, chips, onion rings, no salad, and so much beer he'd see the burger, chips and onion rings the next day. But Louis also appreciated that this diet was what kept him in his best shape and meant he would be the best football player he could possibly be. Besides, they had this converstaion every single night, and it was getting a bit boring now.

"y'alright Lou." Liam said, nudging his foot against Louis'.

"Yeah, just tired s'all. Fucking Adams keeps creating problems when no-one asked him too. I'm worried about Luke." Louis admits, rubbing a hand over his face as he lets out a big sigh.

"Everyone fucking hates Adams anyways. Luke will be alright Lou, he can stand up for himself." Niall tries to add helpfully, knowing how much Louis would worry over his own team.

When he first got appointed captain everyone was absolutely buzzing for him, and Louis felt like he was on cloud nine. Captain was something he'd always dreamed about being and he finally had managed to achieve it, and only at age 22 aswell. But nobody realised just how much Louis was going to care for the team, and he did. If anything was anything other than perfect Louis lost sleep over it, felt like he was letting the team down. It was cute, but not to Louis' tiredness levels.

"You need to take your mind off the team, Lou. We're stonger than we've ever been before, this year is our year, I can feel it. We're going to win, I promise. You're the best captain England's seen in years, if you can't do it no-one can." Liam speaks honestly.

"Thanks man, I hope we win this year. If we don't I just feel like people won't care about how good the team was or how good the other team was, it's gonna be 'cause I'm the first gay captain." Louis confides.

"First openly gay captain Lou. And anyways, you coming out has given so much to the LGBT community, and almost everyone had been really supportive of it." Niall says.

Louis had always been very confident in his sexuality and knew he was never going to hide it from anyone. He never really came out at home, just told him mum he was going to bring a boy round one day and that he was more than a friend. Louis' family had always known though, so he guesses that he was very lucky with that.

When he first got signed, he'd had to move to London for training, and he'd been put in a dorm with a boy called Liam, and they'd been best friends ever since. Niall came along a couple of years later, making him the youngest in their squad, but had fitten in straight away. Again, he'd never had to come out to the boys, but after calling enough boys cute they kind of just came to the conclusion that he was definitely not just straight.

The first time Louis spoke the words "I'm gay" outloud was on an instagram livestream, where him and his team had decided it was the best and most low-key way to do it. He'd been doing a Q and A and someone (Liam on a fake account) had asked if he had a crush on some female model to which Louis had laughed and said, "no offence to her, obviously, I'm sure she's beautiful and a great person, but I'm actually gay, so I guess I'd only being looking at male models right now, especially considering how single I am at the moment."

Louis hadn't been worried about the reaction of shitty magazine comapanies and the opinions of homophobic people, but he hoped that his coming out had given some kind of hope to other people that it was okay to be gay, and you didn't need to make a really big deal out of coming out. 

And the reaction had been amazing, save for a few nasty collumns in the _SUN_ and _THE DAILY STAR,_ which had such a bad backlash it really did them more damage than Louis.

"Anyways, you sleeping here again tonight, Tommo?" Niall teased, Louis glaring back jokingly.

"Well, as I've been invited over here so kindly by my bestest mate, I guess it would only be polite." Louis says sarcastically.

"Bro, you might aswell sell your apartment and move in here at this point, when was the last time you slept at yours?" Liam teased.

"That's irrelevant!" Louis bites back, even though he actually can't remember the last time he went 'home'. "I pay you guys rent and I help the grocery shop, so there's no issues. Besides, my apartment's not, it's not really a place I particularly want to stay in at the moment, after everything. I will sell it at some point." Louis defends.

"Bro we're just joking, you really are welcome here for as long as you need. And I've told you before, you really don't need to keep paying us rent. We have enough money." Liam reassures.

"And I appreciate it, but I'm not some charity case. Now, who want's to play some fifa?" Louis says with excitement, ignoring the two groans he gets in repsonse. 


	3. The Party

"Z I don't want to go..." Harry mumbles, fingering the material of his sheer shirt that Zayn had shoved at him an hour earlier, telling him to "put this on and don't ask questions, we're going out".

"I know, but I think it will be good for you Haz, make some more friends, talk to people. You can't honestly be happy with just having me and Nick as friends, eh?" Zayn says in an attempt at a joke as he continues styling his hair up.

"I like both of you, I don't want other friends." Harry protests, walking after Zayn and not protesting when presented with a pair of boots to put on.

"Please Haz, for me? I'll be there the whole time and if you wanna leave at any point I promise we can as long as you give it a go. Please?" Zayn asks sincerely.

"Okay" Harry sighs, pulling on the boots and a jacket and heading out after Zayn

-

"Lads!" Niall's deafening tone rings out across the apartment, making Louis flinch from his position on the floor where he was responding to emails and causing Liam to wake up from his nap.

"Bloody hell, Niall. Give a man a warning when he's about to be woken up!" Liam exasperated, holding a hand to his chest.

"Oops." Niall offered cheekily before plopping down onto Liam's lap and giving him a tight hug. "I'm sorry Li, don't be mad at me!" He teases.

"I'm not mad at you you idiot, but you're squishing me." He complains before shoving Niall off of him.

"Whatever, Louis loves me, right Lou?" Niall questions, looking over at Louis who's giving him an unimpressed look back with one eyebrow raised.

"Okay okay, nevermind, its cool, noone loves Niall, whatever." Niall sighs dramatically, making the two older boys smirk at their friend. "Anyways, what I was going to say is that there's this party tonight and someone asked me to come and I said yes so now we're all going to a party! Yay!" Niall says with enthusiasm to the not so enthusiastic boys.

"Ni, we can't. Training program specifically says not to go out getting drunk. I'm captain and I need to set an example. You should too." Louis says responsibly. 

"You know there was a time when Liam would say some dumb shit like that and you and me would laugh at him and go out anyways and he'd end up coming with us." Niall complained.

"Excuse me I am nowhere near as bad as Liam used to be!" Louis defends.

"Oh really? What did Liam say when I suggested we go out last year for new years as our last big night out before training started again?"

"That it was irresponsible and we shouldn't be taking our places on the team for granted. And that the program said not to go out drinking..." Louis grumbled. "Okay fine we're going, I don't want to be responsible like Liam!" He teased, running upstairs to go and get ready, followed by the two other boys laughing loudly.

-

Harry wrapped his jacket round him tighter, his hands fumbling with the empty plastic cup in his hand as he sat down on the floor outside, his knees pulled up and his hands wrapped around his legs. Harry hated parties and he knew he hated parties, why he decided he would come was beyond him. He could feel the beat of the music beneath him and the faint hum of people chatting, but outside everything was a lot more peaceful.

Zayn had disappeared about half an hour ago, and whilst Harry was happy for him he also wanted to go home pretty badly. A single tear slipped down Harry's face as his thoughts became the better of him. Why couldn't he just come to a party and enjoy himself like everyone else, why did he have to fuck everything up, why couldn't he just be normal?

Harry quickly wiped the tear away, what the fuck was normal anyways. He was just about to consider ringing an uber when he heard the door slam open and someone came tumbling out, nearly knocking into him.

"Oops? Sorry bro, didn't see you there, y'alright?" A soft voice called from above him.

Harry didn't turn to look up at the figure, just muttered a fine and kept his head turned down. He really didn't want to deal with a drunken idiot right now.

Apparently this person didn't quite seem to understand that.

"What're you doing out here by yourself mate, surely you'd be having more fun in there with everyone else. Want one?" The boy rambled on, thrusting a cigarette in front of Harry's face.

Harry sighed and ran a shaky hand through his hair, trying to compose himself and stop panicking just because someone was talking to him. He looked up to find the boy - man - now sitting in front of him, still holding out the cigarette.

Harry gasped when his eyes met the bright blue orbs of the man in front of him. He was staring at Louis Tomlinson. THE Louis Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson was staring at him, and he was so much better looking in real life. Which said a lot as Harry had already convinced himself that Louis Tomlinson was the most gorgeous man ever to exist. Louis Tomlinson was also now staring in concern at Harry, saying something Harry's brain wasn't seeming to understand.

"H-Hi." Harry finally managed to stammer out, sounding star struck.

"Ah good, for a second there I thought something was wrong, do you want the cig or not?" Louis said sounding relieved.

"You're Louis Tomlinson." Harry whispered, immediately going bright red once he realised what he'd just said. As if the man didn't know who he was.

Louis chuckled softly, finding the boy endearing. "Yeah, that's me. You a big fan of footie then?"

And, oh. 

In all honesty Harry had only ever watched the games Louis was in to, well, stare at Louis. And he hated football with a passion. But he couldn't exactly tell the captain of the England football team, (the very hot captain as well), that he hated his sport.

So he lied.

"Uh yeah, ever since, um, ever since I was little. My dad and I used to go quite a lot." Harry murmured, not brave enough to talk at a full volume yet.

"Aw, that's so sweet. What team did you guys support?" 

Shit.

"Oh, um, uh, Man U?" Harry said, or rather questioned, face going red again as he realised he didn't sound very convincing in this lie.

"Ew Man u is disgusting!" Louis exclaimed, grimacing at the thought. "I don't see how anyone could like them!"

"Same." Harry said softly again, freezing immediately and then groaning whilst burying his head into arms, wishing the ground to swallow him up.

Louis chuckled softly, ruffling Harry's hair a little. "Hey it's okay, I didn't really pin you down as a sporting fan anyways. Was shocked that you knew me if I'm being honest."

"You're Louis Tomlinson how could I _not_ know who you are." came Harry's muffled response, causing Louis to chuckle again.

"I didn't really expect gorgeous Gucci models to sit around drinking beer and shouting at stupid sportsmen, that's all. D'you mind if I have a quick smoke?" Louis said smoothly, pulling the cigarette up to his mouth and digging around for his lighter.

Harry poked his head back out from his hiding spot of his arms, and turned his nose up. "Should the captain of the England football team really be smoking?" Harry said before his brain could catch up with what Louis had previously said, causing him to gasp again.

"Y'know technically I probably shouldn't be smoking, but I also shouldn't be here at this party, and-"

"How do you know I'm a Gucci model?" Harry whispered in shock, his eyes wide, staring straight at Louis.

"Gucci is pretty famous, love, most people saw that campaign you did with them last season." Louis said calmly, finally managing to light his cigarette.

"You saw that?!" Harry spluttered, making Louis once again let out a small laugh.

"Yeah I did, you should give yourself more credit babe, you're a fucking model for Gucci. A lot of people know who you are Harry Styles, don't need to keep acting like I'm a god and your a servant." Louis said honestly, his tone a little sadder as he thought of Harry not thinking he was good enough.

"You know my name. Oh my god. This is not real life. And for your information, you _are_ like a god to me, and many other people, people actually like you for you, people only look at what I'm wearing, it's not the same." Harry protested, his gaze falling back to the floor again.

Louis lifted a hand to Harry's cheek and guided his eyes back to his. "Hey, you're more than just what you wear, Harry. Trust me, I don't remember any old sods name, promise." He joked, making Harry blush beneath his hand.

"You're so cute." Louis whispered, his eyes falling to Harry's lips as he started to lean in slightly.

Fuck. Harry couldn't do this. 

Harry could feel his heart rate start to pound painfully fast, his hands beginning to shake and go clammy, his breathing go out of control. He abruptly stood up and stumbled back, away from Louis.

"I have to go, I'm so sorry." He stumbled out, decidedly not looking at Louis' face of confusion and hurt as he ran back into the house.

Louis pulled his cigarette back up to his mouth, his mind running wild. He was so sure Harry had liked him, why had he just run off like that? 

Louis finished his cigarette and stumped it out, heading back inside to find Liam or Niall, and try to find out more about Harry Styles.

-

It was a few hours later and Harry was drunk, no, wasted. After his disaster of a conversation with Louis he'd decided alcohol was the only way to help him rid the embarrassment he felt running through him.

A drunk Harry was completely opposite to a sober Harry, and he had ended up dancing in the middle of the huge crowd, singing at the top of his voice. 

He took a step back and hit a hard surface, spinning round to be met with Louis once again, Louis' hands instantly going up to Harry's waist to stop him from falling over.

"Hi love, you feeling better now?" Louis chuckled, moving his hips in time to the music.

"Louis!" Harry exclaimed, his arms flying out to wrap around Louis' neck to further steady him and to pull him in closer. "Hi!"

Louis laughed softly again. "Hi!"

"Sorry if, if before I was, if I was, um, quiet or some-something. A lot of, um, the time people think I'm being, uh, rude or I don't like them, b-but it's because I just don't always like showing, showing the real me I guess. You're really hot!" Harry rushed out, slurring all of his words. 

"Don't sweat it babe, it's cool." Louis said, decidedly ignoring the 'you're hot' comment. "How much have you had to drink?" He asks in concern.

"Not that much, why? Please don't go all mum on me and tell me I should go drink some water or some stupid shit like that. I'm dancing!" Harry groans, turning around in Louis' grip to dance, grinding back on him.

They stayed like that for a while, Harry's head thrown back and resting on Louis' shoulder as they talked, laughed, and in Harry's case being a tease.

What Louis really wanted to do was tease back and take Harry back to his own place but he knew Harry was very drunk, and he wasn't going to be the guy who took advantage of an intoxicated young model. And despite the fact that they had only met tonight, Louis felt oddly protective of the younger boy in front of him. **(A/N: and also that would kinda end the story a bit too quickly, we're in for the long haul here lads, sorry! :) )**

"Hey, did you come here by yourself?" Louis shouted over the music.

"No I came with Zaynie."

"Who?" Harry turned back around to face Louis.

"Zayn, he's, um, he's my roommate. Zayn Malik?" Harry questioned.

"The Greek God look-a-like Zayn Malik?" Louis asked incredulously, earning a little giggle from Harry.

"Yeah, that's him. Why?" Harry asked.

Louis took his arms away from Harry's waist and gripped his hand instead. 

"Let's go find him." Louis said, tearing through the crowd, sighing in relief when he saw the infamous quiff that was Zayn Malik, with Harry stumbling behind him, bumping into just about everyone that was there.

"You're like a spider on rollerscates. On Ice. How the hell do you walk a run way?" Louis laughed, squeezing Harry's hand so he knew he wasn't being serious.

"Beats me!" Harry giggles back, shouting when he caught site of his best friend. "Zaynie!"

Zayn turned away from the conversation he was having with a blonde that Harry recognised to be a friend of Louis'.

Harry decided this was information he definitely needed to share with Louis, so he bent down and over to Louis' ear whispering "he's your friend." in what he thought was a quiet manner and yet everyone ended up hearing him.

Louis laughed softly, squeezing the hand one last time before letting go. "I know bud."

"Hi Lou." Niall called.

Zayn walked over to Harry, quickly realising how drunk he was.

"Fuck Haz, how much did you drink babes?" he questioned, running a hand through Harrys curls. 

"Nuffin, I'm fine." Harry muttered, his fun and bubbly side quickly gone.

"No you're not." Zayn sighed, pulling out his phone to check the time. 00.45. Zayn curses inwardly as his eyes fall over to Louis.

"Did you fucking do this?" Zayn accused, somewhat aggressively.

"W-what?!" Louis spluttered. "No, he was already like this!"

"Look, just stay the fuck away from him. Okay? He doesn't need shitheads like you taking advantage of him right now. Back off." Zayn said under his breath, Harry obliviously waiting behind him.

"I already told you, I didn't do shit. I brought him to you 'cause I wanted to make sure some shithead _didn't_ take advantage of him and that he'd be safe. Don't fucking go blindly accusing people of shit." Louis growled back, his famous firey side showing through.

"Listen here you - " Zayn started.

"Zaynie! Can we go home now? I'm tired..." Harry called, reaching for Zayn's hand.

"Don't fucking test me." Zayn said lowly, before turning round to Harry. "Yeah we can go now babe, you need anything before we go?" He asked softly, earning a small shake of the head from Harry.

"See you around, Niall." Zayn called out to the Irish man.

"Yeah see you soon. Hope your friends okay." Niall called back before Zayn tugged Harry tightly behind him and left, climbing into a car that was waiting outside for them.

-

Later as Zayn was trying to get comfortable in his bed, he heard feet padding down the hall way stopping at his bedroom door. 

"Zayn?" he heard whisper into the darkness. He peaked one eye open, shuffled backwards on his double bed and held the covers up, inviting Harry to join him. 

Harry all but ran into the bed, shivering from all the cold as he lay there in nothing but boxers, and Zayn pulled his body to him so they were spooning, Zayn big and Harry little.

"Y'alright babe?" Zayn whispered.

"I'm really sorry." Harry whispered again. "I broke our promise." 

A heavy silence grew between the two, before Zayn ran a hand through Harry's curls and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. 

"It's okay Harry. It doesn't matter, I promise." Zayn said honestly.

"It does matter. I was stupid. I'm really sorry, I swear." Harry said, his voice shaking a little.

"Oh H. You weren't stupid I swear, we made that promise a long time ago, things have changed since then. _You've_ changed. We should have spoke about it before we left. Please don't feel guilty about it, I still love you as my best mate, yeah?"

"Okay. Love you too. Sorry again." Harry replied.

"Stop appologizing you doofus. Get some sleep, your heads gonna be a killer tomorrow." Zayn teased, eyes shutting once again as he cuddled back into Harry.

"Night Z"

"Night Haz"

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So part three came quicker than we were all expecting. It's a fair bit longer than the first two chapters but this was mainly because the first two were more like a prologue just to introduce the characters a little bit. The rest of the chapter I'm expecting to be closer to this length. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, it really is so kind. I appreciate all of you so much. Let me know if there's anything you'd really like to see in this story, obviously I have the plot layed out but im open to suggestions.
> 
> Love y'all. xxxx


	4. After Party

Harry woke the next morning to Zayn stroking a hand through his curls, the sun gently hitting his bare back through the window.

"Hey sleepyhead, how're you feeling?" Zayn says softly, bringing his hand down to stroke Harry's arm instead.

Harry simply groans in response and turns around to curl into Zayn instead, his head resting on Zayn's shoulder, his arm wrapping around Zayn's waist. Zayn laughed softly in response and wrapped his own arms around Harry's shoulder’s and over his back, the ultimate cuddle session.

" 's been a while since we've slept together..." Zayn announced into the silence, like Harry wasn't already aware that he wasn't sleeping by himself in his own bed. "Exactly how much of last night do you remember Haz?"

"All of it." came Harry's muffled response as he tried to bury his face further into Zayn's chest.

"Oh sure, so you remember trying to have sex with me?" Zayn teased, laughing harder as Harry's head shot up and looked at him in horror.

"Please tell me I didn't actually try to do that!" Harry pleaded.

"I'm just joking, H. Why do you look so appalled? You'd be lucky to have sex with me." Zayn teased further, pulling the younger boy back to his cuddle spot as his whole face glowed bright red.

"Shut up! I had a crush on you when I was 14 and you've never let it go? I'm starting to think you’re the one with crush, Malik." Harry mumbled back, the back of his neck still bright red.

"Oh yeah sure, apart from the fact I don't swing that way bro." Zayn bit back.

"And yet you've never actually had a girlfriend..." Harry trailed off.

"Haz I'm two seconds away from chucking you out of my room if you don't shut up." Zayn warned, a teasing tone to the edge of his voice.

Harry almost completely knew that Zayn wasn't 100% straight, and when he was 14 and felt like his whole life revolved around Gemma bringing Zayn back home to work on that one project they had together, he could almost have sworn that Zayn was at least initially attracted to him. It was a topic neither of them ever brought up properly, only in play flights like this, but if Harry thought about it then it probably had some long emotional back story that meant Zayn wasn't comfortable being open to even himself about his sexuality, was probably brought up in a very homophobic household. He could only pray that Zayn would eventually be comfortable within himself and find someone who matched him.

Harry could only laugh at his stupid crush on Zayn now, and to be fair Zayn was the most beautiful person he'd ever met, but they both knew there was literally nothing between them other than a great friendship.

"Anyways, stop trying to delay the conversation you know we need to have." Zayn said, his tone becoming more serious, but still with a comforting edge.

"Can we just forget about last night?" Harry asked in a small voice, playing with a loose thread on the duvet sheet.

"Haz it's important that we talk about these things, just tell me what you remember happening." Zayn comforts.

And so, Harry went through everything he could remember happening at the party, sitting outside, meeting Louis, running away, getting smashed, dancing with Louis.

"It's a bit blurry then, I think maybe he brought me over to you? I can't remember." Harry finishes.

"So, he wasn't with you when you decided to fuck yourself over with alcohol then?" Zayn accuses, his tone having a harder edge then before, making Harry internally flinch and regret his previous choices regarding alcohol.

"I'm sorry, Z. It's just, he was there talking to me, being Louis fucking Tomlinson, and I was sitting there being, well, my shitty self, and it was too much." Harry admitted, before letting out a little "I like him, Zayn."

"You do?"

"Yeah. And like, I know that, I know I've only spoken to him, well, just yesterday, but he was just really nice, and he made me feel like it was okay to be who I was. And he didn't take advantage of me when I was, you know, a bit-" "completely" -"drunk."

"Harry you said you weren't going to drink anymore." Zayn started, his hand going back to scratch Harry's head beneath his hair. "We can't ignore this."

"But it's not like before, Zayn. It's not, I'm not drinking because I needed to, like, remove myself from my head. Like, I just wanted a drink. I don't think it's that big of a problem." Harry fought back whilst nuzzling into Zayn's hand, making him not appear to be very threatening.

"Yeah but that's just how things start, H. It's like, even after going through rehab and getting over their addiction, alcoholics are still never allowed to drink again, like at all, because it can send them spiralling again." Zayn explained.

Harry shot back away from Zayn's embrace and glared at him with steel eyes. "Good thing I'm not a fucking alcoholic then. I never went to rehab because I didn't have an issue or an addiction, so don't fucking say shit like that."

Zayn's eyes widened as he took in how angry Harry was. After the whole...situation, and Harry had become a shell of the person he was before, he had taken to drinking more and more, strong shit that was designed to just get someone drunk, and no, Harry was never a diagnosed alcoholic. But he wasn't fucking far of.

Zayn sighed and ran a hand over his face, trying to diffuse the situation that had escalated so terrifyingly quickly.

"I didn't, that's not what I said Haz. Or what I meant. I just, fuck, I never want you to feel like you did before. I want you to be happy. I just got scared, s'all. I'm sorry." Zayn apologized, staring straight at Harry so he'd know he wasn't lying.

Harry let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding and cast his eyes down in defeat.

"I know. I'm sorry I just, I wish that you didn't need to worry about me, I wish that we could go to a party and both get drunk and it would be fine. It's my fault, I fucked it up. I'm sorry for getting angry."

Zayn pulled him back in for yet another hug. "Hey, it's okay, nothing bad happened anyways. Maybe you are right, about just wanting to have one drink and being fine. I mean, nothing bad happened and you're fine now. Let's just forget the whole thing, yeah?"

Harry sagged in relief in the hug. "Yeah, thanks Z."

"Now how about Louis Tomlinson eh?" Zayn teased, nudging Harry and watching his face go bright red again.

Harry groaned in response. "Whatever, like I said, I really liked him, and he didn't try anything. But he's never going to like me back so there's nothing to worry about."

"You don't know that he doesn't like you babe. He seemed happy holding your hand, and we both know he's gay. That's a start!" Zayn says excitedly.

Harry deadpans and looks up to Zayn. "He called me bro. And mate. Last time I checked when you like someone you don't refer to them as a brother."

"Ouch, he actually said bro? I mean, maybe, he's like, massively into incest and has a real thing for his brother, so him calling you bro is in some ways a compliment. But if he is into incest then I'm sorry Haz but no way am I allowing you guys to date."

"Okay first of all ew, that's disgusting. Second of all he doesn't even have a brother. Third of all...Actually I don't have a third point; can you stop laughing Zayn? It's gross!" Harry complained, lightly kicking Zayn in the shins.

"Ow! What's wrong with you? I take you in last night, I cuddle you, I'll probably go get you an aspirin in a second and all I get back is abuse?!" Zayn teased back, making Harry giggle in response, making Zayn tickle Harry and ending in a big tickle fight on the bed.

"Ah, okay okay, I surrender!" Harry gasps in between his yelling. "I'm sorry for kicking you, please stop tickling me though!"

Zayn doesn't relent and tickles Harry for a while longer, before finally stopping and allowing the younger boy to get his breath back.

Harry waits a while before looking up at Zayn with wide innocent eyes. "Could I get that aspirin now?" He asks in a somehow cute voice.

Zayn rolls his eyes as a joke. "Fine, you little shit, I'll go get you a fucking aspirin. Anything else for you, Lord Styles?"

Harry giggles again. "I mean, a banana wouldn't hurt as well!" He says, earning another eye roll from Zayn.

"Fine! Oh, by the way I was speaking to this guy called Niall, he's also on the England footie team, and he said he'd get us free tickets to their next game if you want to go." Zayn announces before padding off to the kitchen.

"What the fuck." Harry mumbles before raising his voice to shout, "Zayn!"

"What?!"

"Niall Horan just happened to have two free tickets and gave one to me, a guy he's never met or heard of before?!"Harry calls out in confusion, accepting the banana that came flying towards his chest from somewhere beyond the door. "Bloody hell, I would expect a Lord to get better service then this!"

Zayn came walking back to the bed then, water and aspirin in hand, glaring at Harry. "I will also throw this at you, Haz!"

"Thank you?" Harry says, accepting the water and aspirin.

"Anyways, no, technically Niall Horan didn't walk up to me, hand me two tickets, and say "Here ya go, one for you and one for your little shit of a roommate Lord Styles""-"Heyyy" "-and then walk away. We were talking and I said I'd never seen them play before, and he said he could get me a ticket if I wanted to come, and then he said bring someone if you want too. What you saying?"

Harry looked down and twisted the glass in his hand, his teasing gone and his stupid fucking thoughts taking over instead.

"Oh, um, sure like if you wanna go you should. I'm not really a massive football fan though..."

"Even with Louis Tomlinson playing?"

"I just, I don't know Zayn. It's, um, It's quite a lot." Harry mumbles.

Zayn walks over and ruffles Harry's hair. "Think about it yeah?"

Harry swallows. "Okay sure."

Harry spent the rest of the day lying in Zayn's bed watching shitty films and cuddling Zayn, mind constantly on Louis fucking Tomlinson.

When Zayn left the apartment to go and pick up a takeaway from some organic restaurant that was one of the few places Harry was allowed to eat in, Harry finally checked his phone.

"Oh my shit!" Harry gasped, hands shaking as his eyes were glued to the screen of his phone.

Louis fucking Tomlinson had followed him on insta and messaged him:

_Hey Curly,_

_just wanted to check you got home safe and your friend wasn't too mad. Let me know if you wanna meet up for drinks some time (although maybe you should just stick to orange juice this time!)_

_Louis x_

_P.S. I meant it when I said you were cute ;)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for reading and supporting. I love reading your comments so let me know what you think. Have a great day xxxx


	5. The football game

Harry was sitting on Zayn's bed, his thoughts running wild as he watched Zayn rummage around in his wardrobe for an acceptable outfit for a Football game.

Harry really wanted to go, like _really_ wanted to go. He wanted to see Louis again, and yet at the same time he really didn't want to see Louis again. He didn't want to see him and act like he did when they first met, when he was sober. He didn't want to be shy and closed off and make Louis realise how shit of a person he really was.

But he _really_ liked Louis. Like, more than he thinks you should after meeting him one time.

He looked down at his phone, the Instagram app mocking him, scaring him away. He hadn't responded to Louis' message yet. Probably wouldn't any time soon, despite the fact that he read it, meaning Louis knew he was ignoring him. 

Harry was a dick.

"What d'you think, these?" Zayn holds up a pair of black skinny jeans to show Harry. " _Or_ , these?" Zayn holds up another pair of black skinny jeans to Harry.

"They're the same?" Harry questions, giving a disbelieving look.

Zayn drops the jeans as his mouth drops open, staring at Harry with shock.

"What?" Harry questions.

"Harry, you own, like, a thousand pairs of black jeans and still tell me the difference between each and every pair before going off to buy yet another pair because, "they're different Zayn, these ones have a frayed hem, none of the others do! It makes the jeans a statement item rather than a staple item!"" Zayn mocks Harry with a very high pitched voice

"And you always tell me I'm being ridiculous, so, wear whichever ones you want, I don't care!" Harry mumbles, flopping down on the bed so hes lying down.

Zayn walked over to Harry and squatted in front of the bed, pushing Harry's curls back to get a better look at his bestfriend.

"Hey, I was just kidding babes." Zayn says softly. "What's got you so down?"

Harry fumbles with the bed sheet in his hands. "I just, I just wish I could come tonight..."

Zayn sighs. "I know Haz, I wish you could come too. Maybe next time, yeah?"

"Maybe..." Harry mumbles back.

Zayn pulls Harry in for a hug, pressing small kisses to his hair as he holds him in tight. After a while Zayn gives one last squeeze before heading back to the jeans on the floor. 

"So, these ones, or these ones?"

-

Zayn had made it to the football game just in time to catch Niall's attention and have a quick chat, in which they decided to go for drinks with some of Niall's friends after the game.

Watching the game was exhilarating for Zayn, having never been to one live before, and before he knew it he was up cheering with the rest of the crowd as England had one, his pint sloshing all down his front and his lungs on fire.

Before Zayn knew it he was in some shady pub with Niall and his two friends, Liam Payne, a nice seeming lad with biceps to die for, and Louis fucking Tomlinson.

"Your friend didn't feel like coming?" Niall asked at one point, a few too many pints in his system as he had decided it necessary to lean against Zayn's frame.

"Ni, I don't think Zayn appreciates you lying all over him, you fattie!" Liam shouts, also a little drunk, pulling Niall a little too hard off Zayn that he ended up crashing into Louis instead.

"Ew, I don't want you all over me either fattie, go annoy someone else!" Louis teased, lightly shoving Niall off.

Niall dramatically sighed and buried his head into Zayn's shoulder. "No-one loves me Zayn! I just feel so unloved!" He exclaimed with fake sadness. 

Zayn looked up at sniggered, catching eyes with Liam. "Hey, maybe you just need some acting lessons, Niall"

Louis and Zayn burst out laughing at that as Niall shoves Zayn and glares at everyone.

"Okay whatever, I get it, it's hate Niall day or something, cool. Don't know what I ever did to you guys!" Niall exclaims.

"How comes you did come alone though, bro?" Liam questions.

"Oh, um, well my flat mate was going to come, but I guess he just didn't feel very well so he's at home instead." Zayn explains.

Louis feels himself deflate at that. He knew messaging Harry had been risky, but he'd figured what was the worst that could happen from it. Well, turns out Harry Styles was doing everything in his power to avoid Louis and make it clear he wasn't ignoring him. _I mean, who reads a message and deliberately doesn't reply?_ Louis thought to himself.

"Who's your flat mate?" Liam shouts, shoving Niall when he laughs at him and tells him Zayn's not deaf.

"Oh, um, Harry Styles? He's, um, he's a model for Gucci?" Zayn questions.

"Oh him! Yeah Louis-"

"-Louis did nothing, Niall. Shut up!" Louis hisses, slapping a hand over Niall's mouth.

"Hey, that is so not true. You see Zayn-" Niall pokes Zayn's arm to grab his attention. "-you should hear about the way Louis used to talk about Harry Styles. He-"

"That's enough Niall, Zayn really doesn't need to know about Louis' private business." Liam says in a kind tone, missing the daggers Zayn was sending towards Louis.

The conversation quickly ends at that and Louis quickly walks away to grab another few rounds, screw the no drinking rules.

A couple hours later and Louis is properly pissed and walking (more like staggering) over to Zayn.

"Zayn!" Louis shouts.

Zayn sighs and rolls his eyes before turning around to face Louis with what he hopes is a believable smile.

"Hi Louis."

"I just wanted to ask why Harry was so cold and distant last time at that party, I mean, like, before he got drunk. He seemed really shy and closed off." Louis asked.

Zayn felt himself tense up and his hands balled up into fists, his eyes going cold.

"Look, listen here. Harry doesen't fucking need anymore assholes in his life, okay? He's way too fucking good for you and there's no way on god's earth that you deserve him, so fuck off and stay away from him. Got it?" Zayn all but growls before storming out of the pub and walking all the way home.

Zayn knew what shit could send Harry months back in terms of his progress with his mental health, and assholes like Louis Tomlinson who were notorious for hooking up with people and dropping them like flies the next day were part of that shit. 

How dare he say Harry was cold and distant, just because he wasn't a loud fucking asshole like Louis didn't mean he wasn't a good person.

Zayn finally reached the door to his apartment and quietly opened it, finding Harry curled up on the sofa in their living room. Zayn silently toed off his shoes before walking over to Harry and hauling him up so he could carry him to bed. He glanced at the phone Harry was tightly grasping on too and saw a paused video of Louis Tomlinson in some kind of interview.

Zayn just tried to shake off the anger and hoist Harry up further, the younger boy unconsciously wrapping his arms around Zayn's neck as Zayn girpped one arm tightly beneath Harry's arse and one around Harry's waist.

And somewhere a few miles away, Louis pulled the blanket further up his body as he tried to find comfort in Niall and Liam's sofa as he fell asleep dreaming of a certain curly haired, green eyed model, wishing they could be together,

-


	6. The Argument

Harry had just stumbled out of the shower, a pair of shorts hanging from his thin frame as he made his way downstairs to the kitchen where he found Zayn making up their breakfast smoothies.

"Hey Haz, you sleep well?"

Harry rubs his eye with a fist as he slowly walks over to the counter where he sits on one of the bar stools they have.

"How'd I get in a bed?" He mumbles in confusion, his voice low and raspy from the early morning.

Zayn let's a small laugh. "I carried you, babes." He says as he passed Harry one of the glasses of smoothie.

"Oh." Harry replies dumbly, sucking the straw in his glass to finally get some food in his stomach. "Sorry."

"What're you apologizing for?" Zayn asks softly, sitting in the bar stool across from Harry and really, why did they need to many bar stools in their apartment?

" M'heavy. You don't, you could've left me on the sofa..." Harry trails off, guiltily swirling his smoothie around with the straw, his legs swinging softly from where they dangled off the edge of the glass.

Zayn sighed and took a sip of his own smoothie, deciding to just let the topic go. Sometimes Harry needed to apologize for what seemed like nothing, and Zayn had learnt to just accept it for what it was.

"Louis was there last night, by the way." Zayn offers inconspicuously, carefully watching Harry's face for his reaction.

"I know, you already said." Harry mumbles, confused as to why Zayn was bringing it up again.

"No, I meant like he came to pub after, he asked about you." Zayn explains carefully.

Harry perks up at this new information. "Really! What did he say?"

Zayn sighs. "Just wondering where you were." He says shortly.

Harry feels a warm feeling grow in his tummy grow at this. It could, maybe, possibly mean Louis was interested. Like a tiny bit. It probably didn't mean that and Louis was probably trying to make some small talk with Zayn cause that's just the kind of nice guy he was. But still. There was a chance.

"I really like him, Z. I wish, I wish I could just _talk_ to him, you know? Like a normal person." Harry trails off, stirring his smoothie thoughtfully again.

Zayn pauses before letting out a heavy sigh and finally talking his mind. 

"Look, H, don't take this the wrong way but you need to be careful, babes. This is the first time you've, like, had anything to do with someone since...before, I don't want you getting hurt."

Harry looks down at the floor and says in a very small voice "I can look after myself Z."

"I know, Haz. But I don't want to see you go back to the way you were before-"

"Zayn, I get where your coming from but, but I'm not a little kid anymore. I can make my own decisions. I understand that maybe over the last few months I made myself appear to be this useless loser who couldn't manage to get out of a bed everyday, and the idea of going back to that really scares me but I don't want to live my life by fear, I like Louis and I-"

"Do you though? You met him once Harry, you can't keep catching feelings after seeing a guy once. And I've heard things about Louis, he's most likely looking for a quick fuck with no strings attached, no feelings involved. And that's gonna hurt you in the process." Zayn fights back.

The air holds a heavy silence as Harry digests what Zayn said. He hates confrontation, _hates_ it with a passion and here he is fighting with his best friend. He doesn't want to argue with Zayn, but he's hurt at the same time. _Really_ hurt.

"Is that what you think of me? That he would only ever like me as a quick fuck, could never want anything more than that? That I catch feelings too quickly?" Harry says with a shaky voice, his hands clasped rightly around his smoothie as he tries to regulate his breathing.

"Fuck, Hazza no. It, that came out wrong. I just meant-"

"I think, I think I'm just gonna spend the day at Nick's." Harry cuts in as he drops to the floor on shaky legs.

"Harry wait-"

"-I'm going to Nick's." Harry says, more sturdy this time. And then because he's Harry and he can't resist feeling like everything's his fault - "sorry."

Harry quickly walks upstairs and shoves a jumper and some shoes on before grabbing his phone and silently walking out of the apartment, a tear rolling down his face that hastily wipes away.

-

Nick Grimshaw was trying to catch up on some sleep when somebody had very helpfully decided to relentlessly ring his doorbell. _Rude_.

After trying to wait out whoever it was, who definitely wasn't relenting, he threw the covers off him and hastily walked over to the door, grumbling the whole way.

"What the fuck do you wa- Harry?" Nick's tone became much softer as he realised it wasn't some crazy fan or journalist but instead one of his closest friends and someone he definitely felt a need to protect in this industry.

And Harry, well it was clear he had been crying on his way over here if his red eyes and streaky cheeks had anything to do with it.

Harry's eyes shot up at Nick's previous irritation and he started stuttering out an apology.

"S-sorry I, I should've called, I'll j-just go-"

"Hey hey, c'mere Haz. I didn't realise it was you, of course you can come in. What's wrong?" He said softly this time, ushering the model in, quickly closing the door behind to shut out any invading paparazzi.

"I just, um, me and Zayn we, can I just have a cuddle?" Harry whispered, not sure where to start with the Zayn predicament.

Harry felt very clingy a lot of the time which he knew was a bad thing but Harry needed physical human contact to ground him, and he was close enough with both Zayn and Nick to know that they didn't mind the constant need for a hug or cuddle party. In fact he thought Nick probably enjoyed it as much as he did, what with living alone. And in Harry's defense the only people he hugged nowadays _was_ Zayn and Nick, and even then he rarely asked for it. So he tried to push away the guilty feeling of constantly being clingy.

"Of course, c'mon let's move to the living room, have a proper little cuddle, yeah?"

Harry nods in conformation and follows Nick to the living room, moving straight into his lap as soon as the older man has sat down. Harry is sat sideways across Nick, his head resting on Nick's shoulder and his legs bent, knees resting on Nick's chest and his feet planted on the outside of Nick's thighs. Nick's wraps his arms around Harry's waist so they meet at Harry's belly, squeezing tight to try and help comfort his friend.

"Wanna talk about it?" Nick whispers.

Harry finally breaks at this and starts really crying into Nick's shirt. He could hide his tears from pretty much anyone until they asked what was wrong, and it was then that he felt all his guards come down and was unable to hide his sadness.

Through his sobbing Harry managed to push out some broken phrases like "Zayn and I" "must hate me" "hate fighting with people" and the most saddening to Nick "I hate myself _so_ much."

"Shh, hey c'mon, it's gonna be alright poppet. Calm down for me yeah? Don't want you getting yourself all worked up over this, just breathe." Nick comforted, moving his hands to stroke Harry's hair instead and wipe away the tears that never seemed to stop flowing from his eyes.

After what felt like forever Harry finally managed to calm himself down enough to tell Nick what had actually happened between him and Zayn.

"He's gonna hate me now, right? I just, I wish he didn't _have_ to look after me. I wish I didn't _need_ looking after." Harry finished, his voice hoarse and scratchy.

"Babe, Zayn's never going to hate you. Who could hate Harry Styles? Your the sweetest boy ever H, stop putting yourself down all the time." Nick comforted.

"Nicky?" Harry whispered. "Do you think I'm ever going to be okay again? Or do you think Zayns right, that I'm just going to get hurt whenever I try and get in a relationship?"

Nick looked down at the boy on his lap, who's wide eyes were staring up at Nick's, fear lacing throughout them. Nick had only ever known Harry post _that,_ but he knew that Harry wasn't always like this. So vulnerable and scared and full of so much self hatred. He wished upon anything there was that Harry would finally see himself for the amazing person he was.

Cause he was. Nick doesn't think he'd ever meet someone as amazing Harry ever again, Harry had something natural about him that just instantly made you fall in love with him. Harry was like a little brother to Nick, and Nick couldn't express how much he just wanted Harry to be happy.

"Of course you're going to be okay, H. You've made so much progress in the last few months, sweetie. I promise your getting better, you don't need a relationship to define your self worth. _But_ , for what it's worth I do think you'll fall in love with someone who's gonna love you back." Nick said honestly, holding Harry tightly again.

"And as for Zayn, he's just very protective of you, and to be honest after everything that happened, I can't blame him Harry. He just wants what's best for you, as do I, and if you don't talk to this Tomlinson guy then he's protecting you from having the tiny possibility of getting hurt, by shielding you. And yes that's very annoying for you and your sex life-" "heyyy" "-but in his mind he has to do whatever he can to possibly protect you. I don't think he meant to hurt you Haz. And I don't think you think that either." Nick finishes.

Harry squirms a little bit before pulling out of Nick's embrace fully to stare at him straight in the eyes. "How are you so wise? You're like dumbledore, but with less facial hair." He teases.

Nick mock gasps and pinches Harry's sides lightly in a teasing manner, causing the younger boy to giggle. "Oi, you little shit. I may seem like a granddad to you teenager but I'm not grey like that elf-" "-he's a wizard idiot!" "-so don't start comparing me to him."

"Yeah but! I think it's a good comparison, 'cause your both wise, your both old, your both trying to stay hip with the young people and failing miserably-oh wait that's just you!" Harry teases, squealing when Nick starts full on tickling him as he falls off of Nick's lap and onto a heap on the floor.

"No fair! We were cuddling!" Harry whines.

"Well, maybe my old man bones were feeling a little tired from having you sprawled all over them." Nick teases, pulling the boy back into his lap as he does so.

"But seriously Haz, do you understand what I mean about Zayn." Nick goes back to the previous conversation.

Harry nods. "I do, I'm gonna go back and talk to him tomorrow so we can explain how we feel to each other, be on the same page."

"Jesus, I swear I've had less complicated relationships than you two." Nick teases again.

"Well, look where that got you!" Harry teases back, hugging Nick tighter and assuring him he's just joking.

"I think your getting too cocky Styles. And may I add I choose to be single, thank you very much!"

"Sure whatever you say, anyways can we have a sleepover tonight, please!"

"Bloody hell, now I do feel old. What do you wanna do, paint nails eat pizza and play never have I ever whilst drinking the cheapest strongest vodka?"

Harry blushes and looks down. "Okay fine, can i sleep here with you tonight?"

"Just joking poppet. 'f course you can. Wanna have the cheap strong vodka anyways?"

And really Harry shouldn't because he was on a very strict diet plan but all he'd had today was his smoothie so it probably wouldn't even take that long to get drunk so _fuck_ _it_. It was only once

-

Many hours later and Nick had finally passed out in the little fort they had made before deciding to get way too drunk. 

Harry decided now was definitely a good time to text Louis back and before he knew what he was doing he had pulled the Instagram app up and was typing out a response to the message that had been burning his phone for the last few days. He typed it out and snuggled into Nick, also passing out.

**_To @louist28_ **

_sorry about running off at the party, people like you don't normally talk to people like me._

_  
**To @louist28:** _

_And sorry about whatever I said when we were dancing, I was really really drunk._

_**To @louist28:**  
_ _and sorry about Zayn, he's a bit overprotective sometimes_ _  
_

**_To @louist28_ **

_I feel like_ _I'm annoying you know tho_

_**To @louist28**  
So I'll go_

_**To @louist28**  
p.s I'm not cute, like at all. _

_**To @louist28**  
you are really hot tho_

**_To @louist28_ **   
_okay byeeeee_

_seen by @louist28_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't edited this at all so I know there's so many mistakes I'm really sorry I will edit them in the morning sorry. Thanks for reading, feel free to comment they really make my day 😘😘


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I know I kinda neglected this fic, I'm really sorry. I'm definitely going to be updating much more regularly now, so keep an eye on my page for that.
> 
> I also have another fic and a series that are currently being regularly updated so feel free to check those out XXX
> 
> Enjoy!!

"Alright lads, that will do for today. You can all head to the showers now, Horan and Payne come help me pack these balls up," Louis orders to his team, everyone sighing in relief and running to the locker rooms and Liam and Niall walking over to Louis with a smirk.

"Horan and Payne?" Niall says with a laugh, Louis flipping him off.

"Piss off, I can't give you two special treatment, alright? And I was serious when I said can you help me pack up, there's fucking balls all over the place," Louis moans, grabbing the big sack and throwing some footballs in there.

Niall laughs (or more like cackles) loudly and helps him pick up the balls as Liam starts packing some cones up.

"Jesus that was a tough practice tonight. Sometimes I swear it feels like we're just getting worse," Liam sighs, clicking his back.

"Right? I feel like it will be all my fault if we don't do well this year, and I really don't wanna let you lot down," Louis admits, "but I know it felt like a long practice but we are improving and soon it will start showing, we just need to make sure everyone is focused on the game."

They finish packing up the kit, throwing it into a locker room haphazardly and locking the door before heading to the showers just as Louis' phone pings several times.

"Wow, someone's popular! Whose pants are you trying to work your way through now?" Niall says jokingly.

Louis ignores him and pulls out his phone, looking shocked to see its from Harry Styles.

**From @harrystyles:**

sorry about running off at the party, people like you don't normally talk to people like me.

**From @harrystyles:**

And sorry about whatever I said when we were dancing, I was really really drunk.

**From @harrystyles:**

and sorry about Zayn, he's a bit overprotective sometimes

**From @harrystyles:**

I feel like I'm annoying you know tho

**From @harrystyles:**

So I'll go

**From @harrystyles:**

p.s I'm not cute, like at all. 

**From @harrystyles:**

you are really hot tho

**From @harrystyles:**

okay byeeeee

Louis smiles fondly at his phone, getting wolf whistles from his two mates.

"Alright, you two knock it off. Go ahead an take a shower, I'll join you in a second, I just need to check on someone," Louis says, eyes glued to his phone he he types out a response.

"Mmhm, so you can text some tall fit twink more like. See you in a bit Lou!" Niall teases, running off with Liam to the showers.

Louis doesn't even pay them attention as he works out what to say back to Harry.

As cute as the message is, he's also slightly concerned for the boy's safety. He could just be at home getting drunk, but Louis just wanted the piece of mind that he was okay and not in danger.

And that kinda scared Louis cause he never normally cared that much about the guys he was interested in, but there was something special about Harry.

He was more than someone Louis just wanted as a quick fuck with no strings attached.

He wanted all the strings that came with Harry, and that kinda scared him.

He types out a message, happy with it, and quickly sends it off before he can regret it.

**To @harrystyles:**

Hi love, you're not annoying me at all. I just want to check that you're okay, are you in a safe space? x

**From @harrystyles:**

I'm at Nick's house (nick says he doesn't know you but he has a really big radio show on BBC one, nick Grimshaw???). He's a friend of mine, I'm safe. We just had a few drinks cause Nicky wanted to relieve his youth. (I don't if its rude not to put a kiss cause you did or if it looks like I'm copying you so I'll just leave it)

**From @harrystyles:**

(Okay I feel bad and I wanted to give you a kiss) xxx

Louis smiles so widely his cheeks hurt. This kid is so adorable it hurts. He feels a need to protect him from all the bad things in the world.

**To @harrystyles:**

Okay curly. I'm just going to give you my number too just in case something bad happens and you need to call someone to come and get you. Call me if you need anything x

072213765590

Louis sends it and shuts his phone, heading for the showers. He feels better now Harry has his number in case anything bad does happen.

He takes the quickest shower known to man, knowing Niall and Liam are waiting for him.

He pats himself dry and shoves his clean clothes on, chucking his gym bag over his shoulder, locking up the building and joining the two boys over by his car.

"Alrighty, let's get going then shall we?" Louis says cheerfully as he throws his bag in the boot before jumping in the drivers seat and getting the engine going.

Niall rides shot gun and Liam in the back, knowing that in the morning they switch so it's fair.

"So, what happened whilst you were gone to cheer you up so much?" Niall asks inquisitively, playing around with the stereo until he finds a line he likes.

Louis decides the best thing he can do is tell Liam and Niall everything about Harry to try and get there advice on what to do.

"Okay, so you know Harry Styles? He models for Gucci?" Louis asks as he pulls out of the car park.

"Yeah, the one that was at that party? Zayn's friend?" Niall says.

"Yeah, him. Well, basically at that party we kinda got talking a bit, but he seems really quiet and guarded, and there was a moment when we went to kiss each other, but he just kinda freaked out and ran off. And then I'm guessing he got drunk cause later on we started dancing together and he was, like, properly grinding on me and whatnot," Louis explains.

"Louis that's kinda irresponsible," Liam says from the back, always the sensible and logical one. "You should be more careful with shit like that."

"It's fine, don't worry. Anyways, I'm took him to his mate, and Zayn just got super mad at me cause he was drunk. So then I messaged him on Instagram, checking he was okay, but he didn't respond. And then Zayn got mad at me _again_ when he came out for drinks with us, and then Harry just messaged me now, but I think hes super drunk," Louis finishes with a sigh.

Niall and Liam stay silent for a while, waiting for Louis to continue but he never does.

"Um, okay, so, what's the point of the story?" Liam says in the kindest way possible.

Louis sighs. "Look, I know I have a history for never wanting anything serious with guys, but Harry's different to me. He's really special. I think I really like him, but something just doesn't make sense. Like, why does Zayn get so angry at me when I try and talk to him. I just want Harry to be happy, and I haven't even spoken to him that much. He's so fucking adorable as well," Louis moans, making Liam laugh softly.

"Okay we get it, you really like him. Why don't you just ask him out? If he is really shy he'd probably appreciate you being so forward, just make it something he'd wanna do," Liam offers.

Niall bites his lip before deciding to just spill what's on his mind. "Okay, I didn't tell you this before, and I'm sorry, but basically Zayn told me we should be more careful with Harry cause he's not like most people. He kinda insinuated that maybe something bad had happened to Harry before? I don't know."

Louis nods, "yeah, I guess that would make sense about why he's shy and quiet. I just wish I could get through to him. We're here by the way," Louis says pulling up to Niall and Liam's flat.

They get out of the car and retrieve their bags from the boot, Louis checking his phone to see if Harry had said anything else.

A warm feeling grew in his tummy when he saw Harry had indeed messaged him.

**From: unknown**

hiii this is Harry, I probably won't remember this tomorrow but here's my number, I do want to meet up with you some time, h x

Louis smiles and saves his name into his phone before messaging him back.

**To: Harry ;)**

hey curly, we'll arrange something tomorrow, just drink some water and get some good rest xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment or kudos, let me know what you wanna see or what you like/don't like so far in this book.
> 
> Have a great day xxxx
> 
> Mwah!!!


	8. Chapter 8

"Hazza, wake up babe. Your phone keeps going off."

Harry grumbles and rolls away from the hand that's trying to shake him awake. "I'm tired..." he whines.

Nick chuckles softly, pulling him back to face him. "Haz c'mon, Zayn won't stop calling. It might be something serious."

The younger boy grumbles again before pushing himself up and taking the photo from Nick, rubbing his eye as he unlocks the device to see a ton of missed calls and texts from his best friend, the last one sent seven minutes ago saying:

_Harry, I'm not going to keep bothering you, just let me know you're okay when you see these. Please. I'm worried. Z x_

"Fuck," Harry swears as he runs a hand over his face. "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck."

"Y'alright?" Nick asks tentatively.

"No, I need to go home. Now. I'm really sorry," he says apologetically as he pulls his jumper on and heads to the door to shove his shoes on as he tries calling Zayn just to keep hearing the voice mail.

"It's okay, Haz. We can meet up some other time, it's all good. Are you okay?" Nick asks softly, handing Harry his bag.

The model looks up with wide eyes, nodding his head. "Yeah, I'm okay. Um, thank you for, um, letting me stay here last night. Sorry if it was, like, a bother of anything," he says as he gives Nick a hug.

"It's okay, you're always welcome here, you know you are. Go and see if Zayn's okay, yeah?"

Harry nods one last time before rushing out and all but running home, not even giving if a damn if paps see him out and about like this. How could he care when his mind was running wild?

What if Zayn was really mad at him? What if Zayn didn't want to be friends with him? Harry could understand why he wouldn't want to be friends with him, but he was still scared.

Zayn was kind of all he had left. Well, and Nick too. But Nick was just a friend, Zayn was a brother, even if not by blood.

What if Zayn finally realised Harry was a drag, and a burden, and was really not worth all of the extra effort that was needed.

They always had to make a get away plan whenever they went somewhere just in case Harry got overwhelmed. Harry wouldn't go somewhere if Zayn wasn't there to be by his side, which became problematic at events or shows.

Harry often came to sleep with Zayn, when the nights became too much and he needed the comfort. Zayn always needed to check in on Harry, to make sure he was okay, okay mentally, okay with his job, okay with his personal life.

What if he'd finally had enough? Harry never should have gotten mad at Zayn. He always did this, he always ruined everything.

 _You're such a little fuck up, Harry_ the voice in his head taunted.

Harry tried to push those thoughts away as he walked up to their front door, shoving the key in the lock with shaky hands and, after the third attempt, opening the door hastily.

"Zayn?" he shouts, running around the apartment to try and find his friend, "Zayn where are you?"

He's not fucking here! Harry sinks to the floor as tears start streaming down his face in panic, grabbing the phone from his pocket and ringing Zayn again, still hearing the same damn voice message.

"Fucks sake, I'm sorry, pick up!" Harry mutters to himself thickly as he re-dials and re-dials the same number over and over, with no luck.

Harry suddenly can't catch his breath as more tears starts streaming down his face, Harry in a constant state of panic.

He's having a panic attack.

He hadn't had one in so fucking long, for him at least, and now he'd failed. He'd failed at being normal.

Reaching back for his phone, he scrolls down his contacts for the letter N, aiming to hit Nick's number but in in his state of panic accidentally picking the next number up, which just so happens to be Louis fucking Tomlinson.

Shit.

Harry's crying even harder now and tried to hang up, but sees Louis' already answered and he can't exactly leave him now.

"Harry? I can't hear you, sweetheart. Are you okay?" Louis calls through the phone softly.

"I-I'm sorry!" Harry cries, curling up into a ball as he starts rocking back and forth, the anxiety taking over him and messing with his head.

"Harry?" Louis calls again, this time a lot more alarmed and alert. "Harry can you tell me what's wrong, love?"

"Ev-every-everything! Everything's wrong! I'm so tired of everything, Lou, make it stop! I keep messing everything up, I don't wanna do that anymore! Zayn hates me, just like _He_ hated me. I'm scared!" Harry cries, hyperventilating as he continues sobbing loudly.

"Hey, shh, calm down for me darling, you're going to be okay, I promise. You're not messing anything up, and I'm sure Zayn doesn't hate you. Can you tell me where you are, I can come round if you need?" Louis says as softly as he can, pushing away the concern and worry in his voice. 

He can tell Harry's having a panic attack, of some description, but more than that he doesn't know.

"I-I'm at home. Alone. I don't wanna be alone anymore, Lou. It's so scary!"

"I know. It's okay, I'm going to make it better. Can you tell me your address?" Louis says as he puts his phone on speaker as he shoves some shoes on and heads to the car.

Harry managed to relay his address in between sobs and Louis punches it into the sat nav, driving slightly too quickly to try and get there as soon as possible.

Louis was worried, because he kind of knew something was wrong, no, different with Harry, but he hadn't really considered the idea of anxiety before, and definitely not to this extent.

He slams the breaks down outside of what he's guessing is Harry and Zayn's place, not bothering to lock the car as he runs up to the door, letting himself in as the door was already open.

"Harry?!" he calls loudly, hearing sobs coming from the next room. "Harry? Oh fuck, Hazza calm down baby it's okay."

The boy was shaking all over, knees pulled up to his chest with his head buried down, arms wrapped around his legs like it was all that was holding him together.

Louis sinks down next to him, carefully placing an arm around him. "Harry, it's Louis. Can you look up for me sweetheart?"

Flinching, Harry shoots away from the arm, looking up with wide, fearful eyes. "No. No, I don't want you here, go away!"

Harry keeps sobbing, curling in on himself to protect himself. 

He doesn't want Louis here. He's going to mess it all up again, he's going to make Louis hate him, Louis' going to know how fucked up he really is. Harry doesn't want to fuck anything more up.

"Hey, look at me. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm here to look after you, it's okay," Louis says reassuringly, keeping his distance now just in case.

"Meant to call Nick," Harry mumbles quietly, tears still streaming down his face, "but you're next to him, and I accidentally called you. You shouldn't be here."

"I don't mind, Harry. You're having a panic attack, darling, I can't leave you here by yourself. Come here," Louis calls out softly, opening his arms for Harry.

The younger boy frowns and looks sceptically at Louis. "You're going to hate me," he whispers, working himself back up again, "you will. I'm fucked up, I fuck everything up. You'll hate me, I don't want you to hate me."

Louis' heart hurts, seeing this gorgeous boy in pieces, clearly thinking he's the worst thing to ever have existed.

"I won't, I promise. It's okay," Louis whispers back.

Harry seems to have a change in mind because he suddenly dives towards Louis, bursting into another set of tears as he wraps his arms around the football player, burying his head into Louis' neck. "I'm so sorry-!"

"Shh, it's okay, love. You don't need to apologize, let it all out, babe," Louis whispers, holding the boy on his lap tightly.

He keeps murmuring comforting words to Harry until he feels the tight grip around him loosed, looking down to see him asleep on his lap with an adorable frown.

With a fond smile on his face, Louis carefully manoeuvres himself and Harry onto the deep green sofa he sees in the corner, Harry snuggling up to him on his lap.

Louis takes the time to really observe the apartment of Harry Styles and Zayn Malik.

Considering they're both top end models, Louis would've guessed something quite classy, maybe even chic, nothing like the shit hole Liam and Niall call home.

But the only word to describe this place is quirky. The walls are all different colours, the room they're currently in, which Louis' guessing is their living room, is all different shades of green and blue. Including the carpet and the furniture. 

It would like odd and way too loud, but it all kinda works. One of the walls even has a ton of random little pieces of art work, painted straight on the wall, which gives the room a load of character.

Louis loves it.

Louis really wants to explore this whole place, but he'd much rather sit on this decievingly comfortable sofa with Harry Styles on his lap.

_Who wouldn't?_

The footballer pulls out his phone and scrolls through some emails, answering those that needed it, keeping one hand around Harry's back to ensure he wouldn't wake up or fall off.

Just as he was about to fall asleep himself he hears some footsteps approaching the apartment.

"Haz? The doors open, are you home?" 

Louis tenses a little, recognising the voice as none other than Zayn Malik, the boy who very much hates him.

"Harry?"

Harry mumbles a bit in his sleep, shifting slightly on Louis' lap.

Zayn must've heard though and takes that as Harry being awake, some ruffling going on before he starts talking, voice getting louder and louder as he seems to approach the room they're in.

"You know there's a really fucking expensive car outside? I don't recognize it from anyone that lives near here, it's a bit-"

Zayn stops abruptly as he meets eyes with Louis, his best friend fast asleep on his lap.

Zayn frowns, Harry wouldn't never be that comfortable to be that physically close to someone, other than him, Nick or their families.

"What the fuck?" he blurts out loudly, instantly feeling guilty when Louis' eyes glare at him and Harry wakes up with a whine.

Harry flinches seeing Zayn standing there and starts panicking again, gripping onto Louis' t shirt tightly.

"Shh, it's okay, it's just Zayn," Louis whispers, snapping Zayn out of the trance he was seemingly in.

He drops his bags and rushes over to Harry, sinking to his knees as he grabs Harry's face between his hands.

"Harry look at me, breathe. It's okay, no-ones mad at you, nothing bad is going to happen, you've just gotta breathe for me," Zayn says quietly, no tremor or worry in his voice, suggesting this isn't the first time he's had to deal with Harry having a panic attack.

Feeling like he might be intruding on something, Louis carefully slides Harry off of his lap, placing him on the sofa next to him, keeping a hand around his back so he won't freak out.

Zayn keeps whispering things to Harry, until finally the model breaks out of his panic and flings himself to Zayn, so they're both on their knees, Harry's arms wrapped around the top of Zayn's shoulders, Zayn's around Harry's waist.

Louis silently stands and leaves, letting the two sort things out themselves.

He already misses the feel of Harry wrapped up in his arms.

-

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I will be trying to upload once or twice a week. Comments are always appreciated ❤️❤️ I hope everyone is okay and you guys can always talk to me if you're struggling with anything, I love you all xxxxx


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